Weirdest part of being ika
Tbh idk how to write and how to really share what i truly feel
3 years back my life was suck
Idk what i really did and yet it was so yek to share with what ive been going thru. I just feel im stupid, stupid to be in love or idk is it the real love that i want or it was an obsession towards a person. Because when he gone i do feel nothing. I never knew when he was actually sulking or mad or whatever in between four years. Dumb me. I am selfish. Eventhough it was hard to admit but when i was in a relationship what i do is just blamming my partner on whatever he was doing. But i swear to god on that time.. i really love him. But i also knew that i was really really wrong. Who am I to scold? Anak orang kot mak ayah dia pun tak ckp ape ka. And now he got someone new. At first, it was really really heartbreaking I was so sick bcs i feel like being betrayed. I think I took about 4 months to fully recovered. Early february, i started to think practically love isnt about you and him, it is about life, people surround. "Happiness" what would they means? Bile kita ckp kita happy utk org yg kite syg it was practically true for me. At some momment i feel hurt. BEING LEFT by someone you really trust on. But let us think and let ika think. Love isnt abt your own feelings. Its abt life. Im too young to give such a big commitment, what i can do now is just to pray for your happiness and let us just be happy with someone new and lets start something new. There is one thing that i regret. If only I could turn back time, i should have not be your girlfriend. We can just be a good friend. Bcs at some momment you still here in my mind. But the love isnt here anymore. Times heal. I was pretty sure id be okay if i met you again. Bcs there's no more u in me. I was glad that god hear me. HE heals me. Im happy now im not lying. Im not just cheer myself up or whatever u call. Only now i knew how to appriciate people, bcs only know i really feel that i need my parents more than anybody else . And not to trust friends--- you teached me a lot boy. Be happy with gia. Promise me you will marry her! Bcs now im looking forward for my new life, and i already got my new one! I wish we both can be happy. We will. Allah will. InshaAllah. Im pretty sure god's hear each single dua's. I just crave for happiness. I believe Allah did.